I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She's JV to your varsity
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize