you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
