I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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