I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
