I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Fuck appropriateness.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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