I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She told me I should be a condom model.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm just crazy horny about you
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
