Where is the hickey?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize