You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
