I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
