Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
