Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
