if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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