I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
