She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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