so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I want a musical about memes.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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