It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
