so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
