so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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