i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
