i jhust puked up my retainher.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
