Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
