You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
