no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
