I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
