Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Everything about him screamed your future.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
