who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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