that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
