I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
