just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
