Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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