I hate your face
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
