I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize