Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
