How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
