Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
