Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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