I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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