Your tits are I can't wait for
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
