You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
