I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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