Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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