She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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