So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
