i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
