You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
