She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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