I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
do herpes really smell.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
