All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
