no, he came in my armpit
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
