And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
