Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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