Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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