i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize