dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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