Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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