he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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