yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
