Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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