He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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