covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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