I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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