Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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