They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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