i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
