Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
