The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
