just come out here and I will go home with you...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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